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About Wroclaw

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, just when I think I’m on top of the world, the market takes a nosedive. I’m staring at my screen, and it’s like watching a horror movie. My heart sinks. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about all the coffee I spilled earlier. Why, oh why, did I wear this shirt?

To serve and collect: Polish cop shows off hundreds of model police cars